Wednesday, December 24, 2003

True Sounds of Liberty (TSOL)

From: demhopkins
Date: Tue Dec 23, 2003 10:37 pm

I had been hearing great things about their new release (after many years away from the biz). After the Black Flag reunion fiasco—I didn't expect much. But, review after review suggested that TSOL, (with the original lineup) had put out a great "punk" album. I bought it because their bass player--Mike Roche, was one of my favorite people in the 80's. He kept trying to get me to trade him my belt for anything in his shop (clothing store in Huntington Beach). I refused and still have the belt. But, that became the basis of a friendship--when he was in town. More often than not, he was very strung out and that is, perhaps, one reason the band never secured the respect they deserved. They were junkies who seemed to love the junk just a bit more than the music. I picked up the new release--"Divided We Stand" and it is every bit as good as what I have been reading about it. They were a touch more sophisticated than their Huntington Beach brethern--and this release showcases them as if they hadn't been MIA for 15 years. They were always a band where reading their lyrics never did them justice. It was all in the music and delivery. If you are in the mood for some really great punk--this is probably the sleeper of 2003, and likely to gain more attention in the next few months. The song "Sex Not Violence" with the lyrics "sex sex sex, fuck the violence--fuck the violence again" is so early TSOL--but works so well now. The Huntington Beach scene was the foundation of hardcore (U.S.) around 1980--this is an inspired, jaw-droppingly intense, reminder of how good it was.
--Dem

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

my big 2003 concerts

From: Becky
Date: Wed Dec 17, 2003 8:35 pm

1. Scene Creamers
Fireside Bowl (March)
The CD will never do this band justice. I would follow them into a lair of rabid spiders. A frontman presence that has admittedly jaded me to many shows following. I don't know that I got quite swept up with other shows in not only the music, but the talking in between... the transitional words leading me through a catacombs with bright blue eyes to pierce any darkness, and the audience, a pulse point of energy unto itself. My only concern during this show: What's next and don't stop. Something to be experienced, and all this happened in a shitbag bowling alley. It's never left my top, and the fireside has never been transformed for me the same way since. For all those reasons, even with the big names I've seen, it's number one. Too much showmanship to pass up, so I have to give it the creation it was -- even if it was just once.

The next two ran very close....

2. YYYs, Metro
I can honestly say that Karen O had me on her vocals alone long before Fever To Tell, such strained desperation and raw energy to fuck, ah but to see her for the first time on stage... sheer delight. A three piece couldn't sound better, and they all blew me away. I can't help but focus on her because that's the setup of this band, but from what I saw/heard, the band itself plays an integral role of striking the velvety leather whip that drives your focus to Karen O without ever realizing what's happening. This show could have lasted days and I wouldn't have noticed the time. I saw them again at Metro (November), great performance but way too short (Karen was ill).

3. Interpol
First, at the Empty Bottle (January), extremely intimate venue and the first time I ever saw them--amazing-- tight set. So what then? Of course, did it again at Riviera with The Stills (September). Great show with The Stills creating a perfect opener, setting the dreamy rich scapes for Interpol. And even though I couldn't see half of this show due to suffering from the "i'm a short girl, so tall man please stand in front of me" syndrome, (Ilene back me up), waiting in a sweaty mess of people for too long (had to elbow a few rude ones for position :)), Interpol did not disappoint. I closed my eyes to greetings of sounds emitting their own colors of NYC rainyday all-nighters, the kind that glow streets into magic reflections, embracing the dirty so tightly it comes out glitter.

4. McLusky
Schubas
Perfection. They played this so tight I could have bounced a quarter off them. Everything I wanted. Movement -- how can you not? This tiny little bar and McLusky pulling the roof off, ripping up the wooden floorboards, waving them defiantly as if, "Yeah, fucked you up, didn't I? Get on this ride!" You don't have to tell me twice. The only disappointment is that they haven't been back.


5. TSOOL
Metro
Again this was my 7-day haze, but I know I had fun here. This was a lot of rocking, and as Ilene had told me they did some laid back sets for previous shows. I thought this one was packed with a lot of dance around rock, strong vocals that I loved. The only bad thing: a tall man did not stand in front of me. No. This time he stood behind me and sang at the top of his staggering lungs the whole time. Drag. No sitting on the floor though as I had been warned-- I guess that was during their peyote phase that I missed.

6. Ikara Colt
Metro
Lots of rocking for 25 minutes, sadly that's all the time they gave them. These guys were great and I was pissed that the morons who came to see the bad headliners were booing them. Audience interaction made it memorable as well, and the few diehards that were there to see Ikara Colt appreciated it. My favorite part of the show was when some fan screamed out a request, and the singer said, "we're getting to it." they screamed it again and the singer stops the set, picks up his playlist, and walks it over to him pointing, "it's on the list see? right there. just so you know, we'll take care of you." later they bought the guy a beer and insisted he stand front center.

7. The Apes
Fireside Bowl
Did a long review of them already. Loved them. The singer for this band was quite a force, I likened him to a wave, and he left nothing of the audience let alone himself by the end of this show. 100% energy-- and perfection in supporting the whole. The keyboards still have me amazed because I can't say enough how I hate focus keyboards in rock bands.

8. Rocket From The Tombs
Abbey Pub
This place was packed with energy and an attitude of kicking some ass for the sheer fun of it. Musicians with the experience of the years but no need to rehash the years as the framing force or the only reason to be there. Audience members singing along having lots of fun that seemed, in my observance, very much enjoying all that was past but very much now. I was not familiar with these artists in their individual careers, but I didn't see any signs of needing to prove in the sense of "we still got it." Nothing over the top, but just doing it all easy because it was that much a part of them and because they wanted to do it. Much fun onstage here as well as in the audience.

9. Datsuns
Metro
This came at the end of a 7-day stretch of nightly concerts end of March, beginning of April, which also included the TSOOL show, so looking back on it, I have a difficult time remembering who I was, let alone where I was and on what day. Thankfully this show had a ticket stub to restore the events of that blissful week. Datsuns singer screams like none other. Tight tight tight! Used the stage really well, so much energy and jump around rocking that I felt like Angus Young for an hour. As Dem mentions, they did an amazing encore that left me so jacked, sleeping was out of the question. I remember it as a perfect high to round out seven days in wonderland.

10. The Rapture
Metro
Free tickets to this one. My guess is the ticket were free due to the fact that The Boggs played with them. Sorry if offend anyone, but I remember their set as a bad hoe-down. They should have brought in the country dance caller for a better effect. But then The Rapture pulled it back to reality with the jump-around dance. Of course House of Jealous Lovers... a little spin? Of course nothing to say but "yes" when you get out that crazy cow bell....shakedown! :)

Top 10 Addendum:
These next two are Dem's bands, but they rank in my top 10 (which is now a top 12). I have never done a review of them, and always wanted to, so here's my big chance.

Magnus
Beat Kitchen
Maybe I have been for lack of shows, or some can call it a cheesy promo (yes, they're one of Dem's), but it's not that at all for me. I wish these guys would cut their CD so you all can hear them. I've always felt inspiration to run home and write a review after their shows, but that's usually overshadowed by my bad behavior after the concert. So I'll try a quickie shot because they deserve it. I like their use of instruments, some strange sounds strewn about their rocking guitars. They start their songs slow with just a little hint of the instruments they'll use-- a little here, a little there. You get going on a nice simple beat, then bring it all in with great vocal lines to top--all the hints you heard to tease the beginning, guitars, drums, strong head-bobbing rock along... Sprinkle on some blips and beeps of keyboards pull in a little trumpet solo (why not? it works). Now you think you got their number. But wait...now for the big changeup jam session: guitars, drums, beep tones, trumpet into a crashing heap of speed right into a melodic trip, like a supersonic submarine pulling you through it all building it up. Then like nothing, screeching stop on a dime. Oh the drama... they make me happy, they make me dance, and they transport me places (usually underwater or deserts). I always leave the show thinking of those signs after a theme park ride, "Thank you come again." I'm right back in line. If they made a video to their cut "next to nothing," they'd be in a stolen spaceship, tuning control board beats, geek aliens joyriding mock speed intergalactic with the audience hanging on behind by a wormhole.

The Bamboo Kids
Schubas
Another of Dem's but I have never seen a show they did that I didn't like. The amount of fun these guys have on stage really transmits into their music, you can tell they just love playing out (they say it themselves, but it shows). Strangely, I've never seen them in a packed house, which is disappointing, because I can't image the energy level then. Even so, I remember the first time I saw them, it was just four of us standing and some other stragglers sitting along the walls. Fun introductions of themselves and the band, then they blew right into "She Got Off" and fucking rocked their asses off like the place was full. Talking to the audience and playing off each other so well, Chris hitting drums with such energy he's half standing, hard guitars playing that flirty edge along with Dwight's vocals, gritty, soft, coy, little boy innocent, bad boy. It's all sweat and breathless when they finish a show. A truly great three piece. Much fun.

so much more:
Paper Airplane Pilots, D4, Electric Six, X, and some i still can't remember during the end of March-beginning of April insanity. Too much... but all much fun. I expect that White Stripes/Flaming Lips 12/31 show will make this top 10 as well. Never seen either live, but I will not be disappointed from all the reviews I've heard from you.


Thanks to you all SO much for reading my ranting review of my year out. If you had the luxury of drinking while reading, you're no doubt plastered by now, so thanks for hanging in there with me. It was fun reliving these shows, and I just had to put in my longer reviews, especially of the two bands that I've had the pleasure of getting to know best this year, The Bamboo Kids and Magnus (although Paper Airplane Pilots are really great as well). I hope you all have the chance to hear and see them. And thanks to you all too for the great music I have been introduced to this year, even though I haven't had a chance to see them all live.
--Becky

Gigs of 2003

From: Neil
Date: Wed Dec 17, 2003 12:53 am

First off - I rely a lot on ticket stubs to jog the grey matter cos I'm old and my memory is going. This tends to mean the small pub gigs are forgotten, which doesn't make for a fair reflection of what's out there, but does reflect that beer and total recall don't mix. Anyway, here goes:

Soundtrack Of Our Lives/Ikara Colt/Raveonettes - London Astoria Feb
Libertines/Detroit Cobras/Sights/Hiss - London Astoria Feb
Datsuns/Polyphonic Spree/Interpol/The Thrills - London Astoria Feb
The NME gigs were particularly well-chosen this year.........I already have
tickets for this year's "Award Show" package of Funeral For A Friend/The
Rapture/The Von Bondies/Franz Ferdinand, and I'm supposed to be picking up
tickets tonight for BRMC/TCTC. And I suspect I'll get some for the just-announced Jet gig....if I ever have enough money.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - London Astoria March
Still can't believe the energy, charisma and musicianship crammed into this one....probably my gig of the year.

Star Spangles - London 100 Club March
White Stripes - London Brixton Academy March
One, a bunch of snot nosed punks playing RnR, the other, a couple of ex-snot nosed punks playing blues. Just got tix for the WS Jan gigs - GBP 30 (USD 50) per ticket, so possibly the last time I'll be seeing them at those prices. Has Jack gone Hollywood?

British Sea Power/Mower - Tunbridge Wells Forum May
Both bands made great albums this year, both bands are great live, both bands have yet to really break big. A great little venue. Unfortunately the local kids want to dress like they are American skate punk mall rats, and listen to shite like Spunge. Hopefully this fwd thinking establishment can help with their education.

Soledad Brothers/Pearlene/David Viner/King Khan - London Camden Underworld May Blues, blues, blues. Plus the Soledads fighting with the audience. Y'see, after a year on the road, you get a little ornery. Best value gig this year!

Interpol/British Sea Power - London Shepherds Bush Empire June
I guess you all know Interpol by now. I admit I hated them at first listen, and probably still would were it not for this list. So big up Dem for starting it all!!!

The Black Keys - London 100 Club July
These guys are much more straight-ahead than the WS but pack as much of a punch. But as I recall, Jack's tigh trousers pack quite a packet too.....anyway, getting back to the subject. Incendiary guitar, tight drums, a fine evening's entertainment.

Ash - London Somerset House Aug
The Barbs - Gillingham Green Parklife Fest Aug
Oh! To be in England...in the summertime. If it rains, outdoor gigs are the most miserable thing ever. But if the sun shines, they are the greatest. And for these two, the sun shone. Ash are now veterans, but seemed destined never to break out of the UK, which I think is a shame. The Barbs are a new, young band that still have day jobs, but I think they are brilliant. Whether they have the desire, willpower & etc to go further remains to be seen.

Errm......that's it. Fave albums & etc may follow if I get the time. Meanwhile, I'm off to see The Libs tonight. Jaaamone! And the Buff Medways on Saturday within walking distance of home, which will mean a 5 min journey there takes about an hour in the other direction.....
--NeilM

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Suede

From: Neil
Date: Sat Dec 13, 2003 11:32 am

Saw Suede at Brixton Academy last night. The last-but-one performance on
their farewell tour. I have to say that Brett Anderson is little short of a god-like genius front man. As someone commented on the night, "Bowie is an old guy in a suit" in comparison. An unfair comparison, perhaps, and how Brett would match up vs The Thin White Duke in his prime is a debate for another day, but suffice to say he had the crowd eating from the palm of his hand within seconds of peacock-strutting onto the stage. It gives some indication of his position in the band and his acknowledged magnetism when you realise a small plinth is at stage centre so he can stand literally, as well as metaphorically, overlooking his peers. To prevent this from being a maudlin goodbye, there were album tracks and even a new song played, but obviously the crowd were here to bid their farewells and it was the singles (Stay, Beautiful Ones, Animal Nitrate &etc) that really ignited the night. About three-quarters of the way through the set, I was thinking that this was gonna be one of my top ten gigs of all time, let alone this year, but the band had chosen to take things down tempo from there to the end of the set, and it was also here that the newie "Music To Make Sex" (sic?) was shoo'ed in. After all the time they've been around, they can't master the "leave 'em on a real high" part of The Rules Of Rock'n'Roll. Brett is a real loss to the live arena, and whatever he chooses to do next, I sincerely hope it is in a rock'n'roll idiom. God knows we need sexy, alluring, charismatic indie gods in our theatres, not more fey aucoustic-strumming
singer-songwriters.
--NeilM

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Best shows of 2003

From: demhopkins
Date: Fri Dec 12, 2003 11:01 pm

I didn't see The Strokes this year and I have tickets for Flaming Lips/White Stripes for December 31 which had better be toward the top--so excluding those--the first 5 were easy.

1. TCTC at Irving Plaza, NYC (best show in a few years)

2. Rocket From the Tombs, Abbey Pub (early summer and late November-- seeing them is like reliving my punk youth only they spent their time in a vacuum and have the edge and energy that is lacking with most bands today)

3. Scene Creamers, Fireside Bowl, (March--blisterig hypnotic performance that sadly was not repeated when they played here a few months later)

4. White Stripes, Aragon Ballroom, (July 3--hot and they made it hotter--Jack seems to have no limitations and endless possibilities live).

5. Interpol, Metro, Empty Bottle and Riv Theater (Jan. 12, 13 and Sept 19--the back to back on Jan 12 & 13 in two completely different venues was amazing enough but then they returned in September to play a large theatre with a great light show and a sense that they can handle the big time).

6. Mclusky, Schubas, (April 15--how is it possible that Mclusky is not in my top five--that is how good the shows were this year).

7. Pretty Girls Make Graves, Knitting Factory, NYC (CMJ show and I wasn't overly familiar with this band--they fucking blew me away).

8. Datsuns, Metro (April 6th--I had seen them twice earlier but this show after they came out of SxSW was as tight as any show I have seen this year. It's hard to believe that rock n roll can be this much fun).

9. JET, Intersection, Grand Rapids, Michigan (October before CMJ--very cool to see a band that was a little depressed putting on a great show before a small crowd paying their dues)

10. BRMC, Metro (September--first time seeing them and all the shoe gazer stories no longer apply--high energy and very tight show).

Limiting this list to 10 leaves out some great shows and so I will mention a few others--Godspeed (top 5 in any other year), Ikara Colt (unfortunately a short set), The Libs (unfortunately minus Pete), the YYYs, Mars Volta, The Rapture, The Apes, Polyphonic Spree (who I still want to wedge into the top 10--especially their second show here), D4, Local H, a set by The Paper Airplane Pilots as a trio that was not to be believed, Bamboo Kids (I left them out because I'm way biased and love all of their shows), Magnus (again--a touch of personal bias but they did an amazing show at Beat Kitchen after
not having played out in a long time--they will definitely be on next year's list), The Gossip, The Carlsonics (watch for this band--they deserve to be big).

Biggest disappointments--Johnny Marr and the Healers, The Buzzcocks, Electric 6 and Trail of Dead (who I expect will put it all right next time through town).
--Dem

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Turbonegro

From: Neil
Date: Tue Dec 9, 2003 12:58 pm

I thought they were bloody fantastic. To be honest, my enjoyment may have been enhanced by the fact that there were plenty of Germans, Scandies and Turbojugend in the audience, so they were chanting, clapping and all-around enjoying themselves. OK, so the stage show maybe a little cliched, but I think it's honest, in much the same way as say AC/DC, Andrew WK, The Datsuns etc etc are. I will definitely go see them again, and will check out the back catalogue (I already have Scandinavian Leather).

One of the many funny bits of between song banter was the comment that it was "very good of London to put on a Gay Parade for our arrival" - he was talking of the Rugby World Cup Winners open-topped tour of the city. Hank also thanked Sir Walter Raleigh and Sir Francis Drake for undertaking long voyages and virtually inventing the gay lifestyle. Finally - "people ask us why we ware make-up and wear perfume. It's cos we're ugly and we smell." For those of you who have yet to see Turbonegro, think of a production of Springtime For Hitler, where Lemmy is Musical Director, and the cast of Priscilla Queen of The Desert are in a weird gene experiment with the WWF and take the starring roles. Dress code is anything as long as its denim. They try and do make-up nicely, but got a bit drunk/stoned beforehand. They are musically incredibly tight, but not so muso that a spot of stagediving can be ruled out.
QUALITY!!!!!

--NeilM

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Brief Review

From: Neil
Date: Wed Dec 3, 2003 1:41 pm

Last Friday
Ikara colt played the Tunbridge Wells Forum. A 45 min set with about four new numbers. They are getting more accomplished live. Unfortunately, the turn-out at this gig was less than a packer, and it's only small to start with. I hope and believe that with decent promo they can start filling provincial venues rather than only in London. Bottom line - this is a great band that you should try see given the chance. Looking fwd to next year's new album.

Last night (Tuesday, 12/2/2003)
Took another trip to North London to see acouple of bands just heading out on rock's rich pageant, namely Les Girls (London) and We Rock Like Girls Don't (Glasgow). Artrocker comments followed by mine!

LES GIRLS (London)
An eternal triangle with 3 corners of glorious dark and brooding rock'n'roll. Swampy Southern blues meets Lou Reed down a dark alley in Hackney and watches while Grace Slick sidles up and gives Joy Division a good kicking, nicks their battered old carrier bag, sells the contents in Record and Tape and buys some blank CD-Rs. If you were at one of those first KILLS gigs you were amongst the luck few; If you just recently saw New York's FIERY FURNACES you know why they are so special. This debut by LES GIRLS trio could easily be as raw and exciting. Neil says - Girl singer looking a little like Nicole Kidman sans Hollywood frills sings Sheryl Crow-meets-Patti Smith country rock backed by boy guitar and drums, but without the attack or edge that the Patti comparison suggests. OK, but I won't be fending for their next appearance.

WE ROCK LIKE GIRLS DON'T (Glasgow)
We Rock Like Girls Don't are a new kicking all girl 3-piece from Glasgow in love with dirty rock n roll riffs, pop choruses and their excellent new ''I HATE GIRL BANDS'' T-shirts. The band has just recorded 2 tracks with Breeders producer Mark Freegard which have already been picked up and played on Radio1 and XFM. "Hip to You" and "Rock n Roll Freak" will be coming out as a fucking rocking double a side 7'' single in the new year..... so there! They rock! Three girls (gtr, bass, drums) bring the rock! They kick ass but retain a sense of humour. Singer put me a little in mind of Justine from Elastica vocally. I look fwd to seeing them again and catching their recordings without doubt. One to look out for, defo.
--NeilM

Monday, December 01, 2003

POD

From Playlouder.com:
Dear reader, I feel it is my duty to drawn your attention to an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer which boasts the headline: "Scorning nihilist clichés. P.O.D infuses the genre with ideals" It starts thus:

"P.O.D front man Sonny Sandoval was in Manhattan the other day when he spotted one of those rock band promotional stickers that read "Keep Rock Evil." It made him mad. "I thought it was the stupidest sticker because the kind of music I like is the kind that makes me feel good - The Police or something, where the minute it comes on you're like - yes! That to me is all about good energy. If I want death and destruction I'll turn on the news." The mind boggles. Sonny is a Christian. This means he "believes" in the desert god psychopath Jehovah AKA the all-time undisputed heavy weight champion of insanely screaming death and utterly defenceless mega-fucking destruction. Remember the bit about Noah? Some people are acting a bit naughty - so God decides to destroy the entire fucking planet!!!! Um, hello? Remember Sodom and Gomorrah? Bit of same-sex love action going down, nutter fucking nukes the place. And then there's the bit where some bald bloke is on his way to the temple and he's teased by some delinquent juves who call him a slaphead and shit. So baldy has a word with God and God magics up some she-bears that rip the kids limb from screaming bloody limb. No, really. Do the words "death" and "destruction" not apply in this scenario, Sonny? You beatifically grinning fool?

The second part of this tri-split super-God is, of course, Jesus H Christ. This poor bastard preached wealth distribution, international socialism and universal brotherly love. So The Man whipped him, stripped him, stuck a crown of thorns on his head, nailed him to a cross and then stuck a spear in his side. You may have heard about it. It is in fact the founding myth of the Christian religion. But presumably Sonny doesn't read that bit of the Bible because it's too horrid. Too full of that icky death and destruction stuff. Maybe he's had a special Bible made - one which misses out all the death and destruction. And all the pain and suffering and insanity and madness and stupidity. Which would leave you with what - about 50 pages, tops? So I'm guessing that Sonny's padded things out a bit with some nice stories. Like when Jesus and Sting helped the Smurfs solve the mystery of the missing Christmas tree. Because, as the Philadelphia Inquirer informs us; "Where most of their competition traffics in grim odes of death, destruction and seething anger, the San Diego Ozzfest veterans address notions of unity and brotherhood, keeping one's word and maintaining grace in the face of adversity".

What the fuck has any of that got to do with Christianity? I despair of so-called Christian musicians. From Cliff to Bonio that testicular-cancer faced rat-fuck out of Coldplay, they're all such a bunch of bent-over-backwards, please fuck me up the arse, turn the other cheek, happy clappy, tambourine-tapping mouse cocks. If you're going to be a Christian then you might as well be a proper Christian i.e. a "born-again" Christian i.e. a whirly eyed nutter who believes every single word in King James version of the Bible was actually written by the insane god God himself. Dude, born-agains are totally rock'n'roll. They gibber insanely while possessed by the spooky "Holy Ghost" with all like snakes writing all over them. And then the vicar comes along and touches them on the forehead and they just collapse and writhe on the floor having orgasms. Cool or what? I mean fuck Satanism. Satanists are wankers. As is anybody who defines themselves entirely through negatives. Like all those whining losers who call themselves Leeds or Liverpool fans but are actually primarily motivated by a hatred of Manchester United. Tossers.
But imagine a Christian rock combo fuelled by the same insane sense of showmanship and froth-gobbed monomaniacal blood lust as The Lord God Almighty Himself. Imagine the gigs! You'd have a big lake of fire in the middle and bouncers would wade into the audience and grab hindus, catholics, jews, buddhists, moslems and atheists or people who make graven images or covet thine neighbours asses and throw them into the fire - just like it tells you to do in the Bible. Then maybe the bouncers could round up all the gays, or women with uncovered heads or bastards who eat meat on Friday and, I dunno, drop the ceiling on them or something.

But sadly P.O.D are fronted by an anaemic crusty who peppers his interviews with quotes like: "We always say that rock-and-roll doesn't define us as people. We don't need to be stars, we're not in it to be famous. For me the biggest change is now when I go to the store, I buy the sturdy paper plates instead of the flimsy ones and the three-ply toilet paper."


To which, of course, the only sane response is - Jesus H Christ Junior getting his fucking face bitten off by a rabid donkey while his mum's off round the back sharing a spit-roast with the Three Wise Men, get a grip, P.O.D front man Sonny Sandoval! You should be buying AK 47's and claymore mines and napalm with which to smite the stormtroopers of gay liberation, young girls who have abortions and all those who shit in the face of the insane god, God. That would rock. That would be intensely fucking rock and/or fucking roll. But as things stand you are a disgrace and an embarrassment to both your religion and your chosen genre. And if you don't desist sucking immediately, God will almost certainly kill you. The fucking nutter.
--Steven Wells, www.Playlouder.com